Limericks

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RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:43 am Post subject: guess what

At the orgy I humped twenty-two,
And was glad when the whole thing was through;
I don't find it swinging
To do all this change-ringing,
But at orgies, what else can you do?

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:43 am Post subject:

There was a young girl from Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny
For half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement to many

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:43 am Post subject:

On a date with a charming young bird,
His erotic feelings were stirred;
So with bold virile pluck,
He enquired: "Do you fuck?"
She said: "Yes, but don't use that word."

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:44 am Post subject:

None could better our sex limousine,
With its neat, built-in fucking machine:
Engineered, his connects
To suit either sex,
And adjusts to the fat and the lean.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:44 am Post subject:

There once was a monarch of Spain,
Who was terribly naughty and vain:
When women were nigh,
He would open his fly,
And have them with sneers of disdain.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:44 am Post subject:

A lonely young fellow of Eton
Used always to sleep with the heat on,
Till he met a young lass,
Who showed him her ass.
Now they're sleeping with only a sheet on.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:45 am Post subject:

There once was a judge of Assize
Whose bollocks were not the same size.
He'd look at the right
With a gasp of delight,
But the left one brought tears to his eyes.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:45 am Post subject:

A mechanical marvel was Bill,
He'd a tool that was shaped like a quill.
With this fabulous

He could squirt purple ink,
And decorate lampshades at will.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:45 am Post subject:

For widower: wanted, house-keeper;
Not too bloody refined, a light sleeper;
When employer's inclined,
Must be game for a grind,
Pay generous mind, but can't keep her.