Quotes,Stories,Sayings

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:26 pm Post subject: Kids say the funniest things

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls.

3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.

4. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.

5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head.

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.

7. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?

8. Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.

9. My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish.

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.

11. When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun.

12. A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside.

13. When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors.

14. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.

15. When we went on vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:27 pm Post subject:

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:27 pm Post subject:

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject:

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject:

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy this?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

RingMaster · Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject:

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher...