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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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 Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:34 pm Post subject: one liners |
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Two fat blokes walk into the bar and the first one says, "Your round."
"So are you" the second replies. |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef. |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 12:00 am Post subject: |
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Some Bacon and an egg walk into a bar.
The bartender stops them and says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast in here." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 12:04 am Post subject: |
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| A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm and says "two pints please, one for me and one for the road." |
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BenMcDermott
Funny
Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Posts: 98
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| Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 12:36 am Post subject: |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Did you hear about the psychiatrist who kept his wife under the bed?
He thought she was a little potty! |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a billiard ball."
"Well get to the back of the queue." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
"Pull yourself together." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a ten pound note."
"Go Shopping, the change will do you good." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards."
"Please wait a minute and I'll deal with you." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed the film from my camera."
"We'll just have to wait and see what develops." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a clock."
"OK, just relax. There's no need to get yourself wound up." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dustbin."
"Now you're just talking rubbish." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Sit down and tell me all about it."
"I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture." |
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RingMaster
Site Admin
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3337
Location: Circus
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| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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"Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory."
"When did this happen?"
"When did what happen?"
Last edited by RingMaster on Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:40 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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