Limericks

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:47 am Post subject: more and more

To his bride said a numbskull named Clarence:
"I trust you will show some forebearance.
My sexual habits
I picked up from rabbits,
And occasionally watching my parents."

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:47 am Post subject:

There was a young man of Ghent,
Whose tool was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:47 am Post subject:

Well buggered was a boy name Depasse
By all of the lads in his class.
He said, with a yawn:
"When the novelty's gone,
It's only a pain in the ass."

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:48 am Post subject:

There was a young lady called Hilda,
Who went for a walk with a builder.
He knew that he could,
That he should, and he would,
And he did, and it bloody near killed her.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:48 am Post subject:

A lady of features cherubic
Was famed for her area pubic;
When they asked its size,
She said with surprise:
"Are you speaking of square feet, or cubic?"

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:49 am Post subject:

There was a young fellow called Price,
Who dabbled in all sorts of vice.
He had virgins and boys,
And mechanical toys,
And on Mondays he meddled with mice.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:49 am Post subject:

Thus spake an old Chinese mandarin:
"There's a subject I'd like to use candour in.
The geese of Pekin
Are so steeped in sin
They'd as soon let a man as a gander in."

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:49 am Post subject:

There was a young fellow named Menzies,
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies,
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bi-focal lenses.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:50 am Post subject:

There once was a Queen from Bulgaria,
whose twat grew hairier and hairier.
When the Prince of Peru,
stopped by for a screw,
he had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:50 am Post subject:

There once was a Bishop from Birmingham,
Who buggered young boys while confirming 'em.
As they knelt to accept god,
He extended his rod,
And pumped the episcopal sperm in 'em.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:50 am Post subject:

There once was a gal from Albina,
who had an enormous vagina.
All her young men,
were afraid they'd fall in,
so they boffed her tight little behina!.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:50 am Post subject:

Mary Mary quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
I live in a Flat
you silly twat
so how the fuck would I know!

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:51 am Post subject:

There was a young man from Montrose
who masturbated under the bedclothes,
While making his bed
his landlady said
"He's a bugger for blowing his nose."

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:51 am Post subject:

There once was a girl from Seattle,
Who got off from sucking cattle.
'Til a man from the South
Shot off in her mouth,
And made her ovaries rattle.

RingMaster · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:51 am Post subject:

Behind the old Model T
Is where she first showed it to me
It was hairy and black,
And she called it a crack,
But it looked like a manhole to me.