RingMaster
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one linersTwo fat blokes walk into the bar and the first one says, "Your round."
"So are you" the second replies.
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RingMaster
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Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
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RingMaster
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Some Bacon and an egg walk into a bar.
The bartender stops them and says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast in here."
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RingMaster
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A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm and says "two pints please, one for me and one for the road."
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BenMcDermott
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RingMaster
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Did you hear about the psychiatrist who kept his wife under the bed?
He thought she was a little potty!
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a billiard ball."
"Well get to the back of the queue."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
"Pull yourself together."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a ten pound note."
"Go Shopping, the change will do you good."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards."
"Please wait a minute and I'll deal with you."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed the film from my camera."
"We'll just have to wait and see what develops."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a clock."
"OK, just relax. There's no need to get yourself wound up."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dustbin."
"Now you're just talking rubbish."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Sit down and tell me all about it."
"I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture."
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory."
"When did this happen?"
"When did what happen?"
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RingMaster
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"Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing little black spots before my eyes."
"Have you seen a Doctor before?"
"No, just little black spots."
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Guest
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Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?"
Little Johnny: "Big hands!"
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hez
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did u hear about the horse that was rushed to hospital..... it was in a stable condition
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hez
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did u hear about the man that was caught stealing a calendar.... he got 12 months
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hez
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wat about the man that was arrested for stealing luggage.... his case comes up next week
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shellbell1471
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Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
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shellbell1471
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Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
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