There was a young harlot of Crete,
Who was hawking her meat in the street,
Ambling out one fine day,
In a casual way,
She clapped up the whole British fleet.
RingMaster
A lady while dining at Crewe,
Found an elephant's dong in her stew,
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
Or wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too!"
RingMaster
A young man with passions quite gingery,
Tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie.
He slapped her behind,
And made up his mind,
To add incest to insult and injury.
RingMaster
A TV anchor named Hughes,
Had a ratings trick that couldn't lose,
When an item was hot,
It's taped to her twat,
And she's on the air spreading the news.
RingMaster
A fellow whose surname was Hunt,
Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt.
This versatile spout,
Could be turned inside out,
Like a glove that he used as a cunt.
RingMaster
There once was a girl from Jayling,
Who said she had no sexual feeling.
Until a cynic named Boris,
Touched her clitoris,
And they're still scraping her off the ceiling.
RingMaster
.There was a young fellow named Keith,
Who liked to be fondled beneath.
It was fun, he decided,
But only provided
The girl used her lips, not her teeth.
RingMaster
There was a young couple named Kelly,
Who once got stuck belly to belly,
Because in their haste,
They used library paste,
Instead of petroleum jelly.
RingMaster
There was a young lady of Kew,
Who said as the Curate withdrew,
"The Vicar is slicker,
And quicker and thicker,
And two inches longer than you."
